Scriptwriting Story Revised (Still Rough)

So I posted a tidbit of my story and here's what I have so far:

Drig | Stream of Consciousness

     Tiny hands are pressed against a window pane every morning. A small girl looks out to see the kids just gaining sight of the playground. It was torture to live in eye shot of the playground but have no friends to play with. she turned around and slid down to the ground wiping off the fog caused by her breath. she looked around and found her pink sock and placed it on her hand “rwarrrrrr” she murmured while making the sock eat her other hand “rwwarrrr” until she flopped over onto her side looking at the mess on the floor. Her mother walked by on the phone talking to another co-worker about the latest gossip, she stopped looked at her daughter and rolled her eyes
     “I swear to god Sasha, I think I need to get her therapy” her mom kept walking
      “rwarrrr” Tanya’s snake sock was on the floor. she turned laying on her back the sock still on her hand. and sighed. the doorbell rung and she sprung up and ran to the door. opening it with eyes wide. maybe a friend was here.
     “Hi, My name is Francine from Troop 495. Would you or your-” the girl scout started reading off of a script her mother wrote down for her for her neighborhood rounds.
     “No, mom says we don’t eat cookies here. Would you like to play? I have a whole play room we could play in! like ‘save the princess’ or ‘slay a mean dragon’. OH! I got hungry hippos for my birthday! They are so FAT!” Tanya interrupted her, she paused and stared at Francine and glared a bit “kinda like you...If you want I can make us PB & J sammiches if you play with me!”
      “I just need to sell 3 more boxes then I can go home. You’re weird. I don’t play with weirdos” the girl turned around and started to walk away
       “Ill buy a million boxes from you if you play with me! My daddy...” - the girl was already gone “....has money....” Tanya turned around and closed the door behind her. Her mom still jabbering away on the phone. she took off the sock and threw it on the floor and carried herself back into her room.
     Once in her room she smashed herself face first into the pile of laundry that was on her floor and screamed. she kicked around for a little bit and got up and looked at herself in her vanity. she was covered in shirts and her jeans were strung across her shoulders. she made a face like she was choking. “Oh noes! The giant octopus has you captain! brace yourself!” she fought herself with the laundry and wringled her way out of the pile. “you shall pay for this Giant Octopus Drig! You are no match for the captain of sea-land!”
      The laundry was no longer laundry but a giant octopus and the room was a pirate ship to Tanya now. waves were crashing down and Tanya reached around and un-suckered herself from the octopus. Drew out her sword and poked it’s bulbous face. “ACK! However will I redeem myself!?” the octopus screamed cowering away to a corner. The storm immediately stopped and the captain stood there in the corner of her room with a plastic light saber in hand.
      “I don’t know, just some ice cream or something....I think there’s a candy bar under to poop deck.” she pointed to the bed and Drig crawled underneath it to hand her the booty. “This wasn’t your bestest battle Drig..”
      “Yeah I know, I’m still tired from the trek across the desert we made yesterday...” the octopus said while crawling out from under bed. “you never picks places I can actually place myself mentally. I am an actor.....” he said while holding up a plastic apple off the ground.

     To anyone but Tanya we would see a small girl throwing clothes in her room. To her parents she was the worst child they could of hoped for, a girl who sat in her room and played with her laundry. She didn’t have any friends and the parents were not helping with that fact.

     “Hey Drig! hold that thought. maybe mom will take us to the beach.” Tanya ran out of her room and found her mom on the deck smoking “hey, momma....would you take us to the beach?”
     “Who is we?” she puffed out another ring of smoke
     “Drig and I. you knowwwwww.... the giant octopus! Ive introduced you a million times....”

     “Honey, I have work in 20 minutes, your father has been taking doubles, and I’m having that party for Susan tonight, there wont be any beach for you or your laundry today. Go to the playground and make some real friends. I'm tired of you and all this Drick nonsense right now.”
     Tanya looked at her mom with teary eyes “It’s Drig mom...” she turned around and slumped back into her room slamming the door.

“I’m guessing it didn’t turn out well” Drig questioned while watching Tanya fall onto her bed and start to cry.
     “if jus sufid” she murfled into her mattress.
      “I can’t understand you Tan”
     she lifted her head out of her bed “It’s just stu- stu- stupid.” between sniffles “Who would -ld -ld name an octopus Drick!” She lifted the rest of her and sat on the bed arms waving in the air “ I mean come on..... that's some Bar- Barn- Barney stuff....She never understands me....”
     “I always told ya that you come up with the best names Tan. Why don't we play another game?” he tried to hand her the light saber “I can be darth vaderpus again! that one was fun!”
     She took the sword and held it. “ and Daddy’s never home.”

     “Come on champ, you know your smart enough without them. I know they don’t see you the way I do, but one day they will.”
     “Ill be gone that day.”Tanya jumped off the bed and hurtled herself towards Drig. She hugged the floppy octopus and set him down. “your always going to be here right? I don’t want to leave without you.”
     “I think we should play starfish wars now.”
     Tanya swished out her light saber and they were instantly in a space command center. The octopus adorned in black plastic mask and cape, while Tanya's hair curled up in small buns. they dashed and maneuvered around a space station until Tanya lept forward and cut off one of the octopus’s tentacles that was holding the light-saber.

     “You think you have fooled me Darth Vaderpus but you’re lucky I didn’t destroy your Death-Starfish! Mwa ha ha!
     “psh oh....psh..oh...Tanya.....I...psh oh.....Tanya, I am your cephalopod”
     “wait...” the room turned back into normal “what is a cell-a -go-pod?”
     “It means octopus....”
     “oh” The room changed back “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Tanya fainted on the ground after stabbing drig in the membrane. she whispered holding her eyes closed “you. die. now.”
     “oh! sorry...” Drig sprawled out, his tentacles shot straight up and fell flaccid. He closed his eyes dramatically after seizing a few times.
     Tanya sat up straight away, the room fading back into normalcy “yeah that was good...” she smiled, then perked up her head.
     Tanya’s father’s car could be heard pulling into the driveway, it was a red Porsche that he removed the muffler from so that he could show off his sweet ride. Tanya jumped up and ran out of the room and into the kitchen. She fumbled around for the Peanut butter and jelly and could only get one piece of bread topped with both before her father walked into the house.
     “Daddy! We made you lunch!” she handed him the piece. It folded over itself, dripping from the sides.
     “Hey sweetie...Oh Jesus Tanya....” his eyes glanced to the floor and the jeans wrapped around Tanya's leg. “God damn it girl....would you please stop dragging your laundry everywhere. It’s really getting to be too much.”
     Socks, jeans and shirts trailed out of her room. “but daddy! Drig doesn’t like to be in there alone. He even put the peanut butter on your sammy!”
     “Sweetie, there’s no such thing as a Drit”
     “Drig...”
     “Whatever, now go clean up that mess...” he takes the sandwich and throws it in the trash “You know I can’t have this” he said while pulling out a protein shake from the fridge.
     “Drig is magic dad! He can make everything magic. He could change this whole room into anything, and take things out of my ear! Everything could be magic.”
     “Your talking nonsense. Drig cannot make anything. Can he make money out of air? Money is all that matters honey, learn that and you will have a better life than anything this “Drig” can make up.”
     “I don’t think you get it daddy.”
     “Honey, Go to the park. Make some REAL friends! This is getting absurd.”
     “Drig is real dad, see he’s right here!”
     Her dad picks up a shirt from the floor “THIS? This is LAUNDRY TANYA! DIRTY LAUNDRY! GOD!”
     tears started to fall from Tanya's eyes, Drig tightened his grip around her leg, so she would know he was really right there.
     “Daddy! Stop! Your hurting my feelings!”
     “Then Stop being ridiculous! Go outside! and I swear to God....If I see you take one article of clothing with you....”
     Tanya started to walk out of the room and turned to go to her room “I said OUTSIDE Tanya!”
     “I know daddy....I need shoes, my feet cant handle this”
     her father slouched in his chair as she walked off crying. he put his hand up to his forehead and looked at the fridge. There was a paper with: Dr. Fritzgerald - Child Psychologist 485-9683. call ASAP” scribbled down by his wife. He tore off the sheet and started dialing.
     Tanya reached under her bed and grabbed her backpack. She stuffed in goggles and put her swimsuit on under her clothes.
     “Were going”
     “Where to?” Drig looked confused “I don’t want to get you in trouble Tanya....He hit you last time, really I don’t think this is a good idea...”
     “Africa”
     “What?”
     “I was only being scartastic. Startastic. Sartac–”
     “Sarcastic.”
     “Whatever. Let’s just go. I want to swim at the beach.” Drig climbed into her backpack and she tried her hardest to lift it onto her back. “No more booty for you....you weigh a bazillion pounds....” She was hunched over but managed to sneak out of the door while her father was talking sternly into the phone.
      “Look lady, I realize you went to school forever, but I can bring her to you. Ginger and I don’t have the time to just sit and talk about our feelings. I just need to know what the fuck is wrong with her. She says her fucking laundry is a octopus! I mean come on....I’m all for creativity but we have no idea what is wrong with her....” He sat into his chair breathing in deeply “look, Ill pay you DOUBLE your amount, but I just don’t have the time. I need to go, I have a meeting in 30....yes.....thank you SO much, we will see you Saturday.”

Tanya looked at her father and down at the ground “I am not a weirdo....” and walked out the front door.

----I dont know where to go from here really---

In the end basically she starts to swim into the ocean with Drig and the ocean turns into a magical world. the last scene shows them swimming deeper into the ocean. basically she commits suicide? My class is tomorrow so will see what my teacher thinks and changes. :/

Some Ideas

Scriptwriting is a great class, and I absolutely love it. My teacher always encourages us and works with us one on one until we are happy with our ideas. I couldn't think of ANYTHING last class until about 20 minutes in and I came up with this.

 There is a small girl who is neglected by her parents, due to their social and work habits. She has a vivid imagination and longs for someone to play with. She lacks in most social skills because her parents never had time to teach her how to be polite to other kids and how to play in general. Because of this neglect she is shy and wants to make friends but won't go out of her room now. She starts to make things out of everyday objects in her room, having tea parties and rolling around in her room with socks that have faces on them. Sadly she still isn't complete. She starts to make a bear out of laundry and it comes alive in her eyes as a friend. finally someone to be with. She starts to play with this bear but every time her mother or father pass by they look at he just throwing laundry up in the air. They disregard her, and one day her mom comes in for the laundry. She takes the bear away and the girl comes home and instantly is terrified. she runs around the house trying to find the bear, picking up pieces of him around the house, and can't find all of him. she goes to her room crying. her only friend is lost, she's alone again. her mom brings back her laundry and the bear pokes his head out, the girl lights up inside and goes to get him back together, they are back together and she feels his love again.


sadly this story is missing a lot. it's meant to be for a 22 minute script and it's lacking something. there isn't a HUGE conflict. so we worked on it. 

piles of laundry look like octopus's kinda, strung out all over the place. so we changed that aspect. the little girl also has to be able to make conscious decisions and so she's about 9 or so in age. and we also decided to have a ending that's not quite the same. the girl gets so angry at her parents that she decides to run away. the house will be situated by the ocean and at the end we will see the girl and the octopus going into it, and diving in. The girl gets lost in her imagination because it's an escape and so once she enters the ocean the octopus and her swim off into the deep.

does she die? possibly, most likely. but it's so much more dramatic in my head. I think this would really work out as a great idea, I just need to work it out all the way....

anyways, enjoy the few sketches I put up and the story as it is now, ill post the rest later :)

here's me and a 6 ft squid pillow I drug around campus on Thursday

Character Design

I've been editing my story for my Creative Viz class but this character has stuck with me so far :) We have to make a one to two minute storyboard and pitch our idea to the class tomorrow. One of the options is to emulate a animator/illustrators style and I picked to do that and to try and do Chris Sanders style (He's basically my hero, did Lilo and Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon) I'm still working on my story/script/whatnot, but to blow off some steam I started working on the characters. This is the only one thats finished enough to present: Her name is Lusca. She's part of Bahamian legend that there is a half shark and half octopus that resides in the bottom on the sea that eats the leftovers from mermaids and what is drug under by the tide. Basically if a human runs into her, they don't have a chance!

Sketch

Digital Outline

Rough Coloring and Layout

Presentable Version

I'm overall pretty satisfied with this design and the progress, hopefully I can emulate Chris Sanders style better in the next character.

Blog!

I thought It was time to finally start a blog to show off my fancy art :)